'It rubbed me the wrong way': 34-year-old son refuses to split late Mother's Day dinner bill with his brothers, after already taking her out on Mother's Day without them, expecting them to pay for his portion of the dinner

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 1, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Now, this is an interesting one… When we're young and out with family, the bill arriving at the table never caused such a 'hooray', because we knew that our parents would cover it…We were young and jobless at 13, so we would pay it back in "Thank you, dad/mom" or cuddles. Because the cash was certainly lacking on behalf of our 11-year-old selves. 

But then we grow up, have families of our own, and splitting the bill no longer automatically falls on our parents. Hopefully, by 34, we're stashing more cash away than we did at 16. 

This adult brother seems to be in a bit of a sticky situation whilst celebrating a late Mother's Day dinner. During actual Mother's Day, his brothers were brunching away with their wives and children, leaving him to spend the day with their mom. He did so by taking her for a nice little Mexican meal. But a few days later, they're all out for a celebratory dinner, and the bill arrives…cue awkward silence, who's going to pick it up…? Well, he made it very clear that he was not, and even went on to hint that he expected someone else to cover his portion, leading to some expected family tension flowing between the broccoli and rice.

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  • Just because this son took his mom out on Mother's Day doesn't mean that he should get out of paying for a dinner, a dinner at which he very much ate. We're not saying pay for his brothers' wives and children, but at least offer to cover your portion, or decline the invite, easy. But don't make a public fiasco about how you spent $54 on a tortilla for your mom…Buddy, it's just not a good look, and a real mood-downer!

     

     

  • 01
    Man pouting and looking bored at restaurant
    via dean-drobot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    ITA for refusing to split the check with my brother on Mother's Day?

    This past Mother's Day, I (M, 34) was the only person available on the actual date of Mother's Day as my older and younger brothers(36 and 28) were going
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 03
    This past Mother's Day, I (M, 34) was the only person available on the actual date of Mother's Day as my older and younger brothers(36 and 28) were going
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 04
    to be doing stuff with their families, and then we would do something with the entire family the following Thursday. So on Sunday my dad, my mom and I
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 05
    went to a local Mexican restaurant, and I took care of the bill which came out to $54. Then on Thursday we went to my mom's favorite restaurant. I was
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 06
    one of the first to arrive and I sat down with the mindset of trying to sit next to my younger brother so we could talk, but I was told to
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 07
    by my mom to sit on the other side of the table so that my brothers and their families could sit together which resulted and me sitting next to my 2 nephews.
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 08
    After dinner, my younger brother called from across the table(first time he spoke to me the entire night), and said "How do you want to split it?"
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 09
    A bunch of people reaching for food dishes on the table
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    Here's where I might be the ahle: When he said that the first thing I said was "I already took mom out on Sunday." He just kind of stared
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 11
    at me, confused, so I repeated, "I already took mom out Sunday and paid $54." He just continued to stare at me, and I didn't say
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 12
    anything back. Then I went to the restaurant while he took care of the bill on the tablet thing. Here's the thing, if I was told
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 13
    beforehand that we were going to split the bill I would've been fine with it, but to tell me when the check comes and it be the
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 14
    first and only thing you say to me the entire night rubbed me the wrong way. So, am I the a hole?
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 15
    EDIT: At restaurant the waiter asked my father if it was going to be one check or separate. I waited to see what he said, but he said one check. So I wasn't expecting to pay anything.
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 16
    SnooLobsters6264 So you went out for Mother's Day, a day for your Mother. Your Dad said one check which meant you didn't expect to pay at all. You expected your Dad to cover a meal for Mother's Day? YTA. 200%.
    via SnooLobsters6264
  • 17
    Man paying the restaurant bill with his wife
    via pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    CONVERSE1991 OP Yes, that's our family dynamic, sometimes my mom and dad cover the bill, sometimes we split. I went in expecting to split but when my dad said one check(that's how he says they're going to cover the bill) so I wasn't expecting to split it after he said that.
    via CONVERSE1991
  • 19
    Mental-Coconut-7854 YTA. It was family outing to honor mom for Mother's Day and most certainly she was embarrassed about you calling out what you already spent on her. Double TAH if you can afford it.
    via Mental-Coconut-7854
  • 20
    ThatDifficulty9334 He asked:How do you want to split the bill?" Your answer "I'll pay for my meal and put 20.00 in to help cover Mom's meal and the tip. Thanks. That was all that was needed.
    via ThatDifficulty9334
  • 21
    HRHtheDuckyofCandS Yta you are playing check roulette with your brothers. The mature thing to do would to discuss with your siblings beforehand. It's ok for you to chip in on your parents' share. It's reasonable not to want to pay for your siblings spouses and children.
    via HRHtheDuckyofCandS
  • 22
    Zestyclose-Page-1507 "I paid $54" Dude. For 3 people? What "local Mexican restaurant" did you go to, Taco Bell? You think that because you bought fast food for you parents that your brother needs to pay for you at a nice restaurant? At the VERY least, you need to pay for yourself. YTA.
    via Zestyclose-Page-1507
  • 23
    EweCantTouchThis YTA. Way to ruin Mothers Day.
    via EweCantTouchThis
  • 24
    ms_sinn ESH Splitting the check when your brothers have entire families is ridiculous, but you should have offered to send your share for yourself.
    via ms_sinn

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family drama tips Mexican drama mother mother's-day Awkward family members unfair treat restaurant pay bill memebase family divide son children
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